Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathered them around him

Think I may have posted this before, but I was reminded of it by a colleague again recently – it’s an oldie but a goodie:

Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathered them around him

He taught them saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of God.
Blessed are the meek.
Blessed are they that mourn.
Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are they that thirst for justice.
Blessed are you when you are persecuted.
Blessed are you when you when you suffer.
Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven.”

And James said “are we supposed to know this?”
And Simon Peter said “will we have a test on this?”
And Phillip said “I don’t have any paper.”
And Bartholomew said “do we have to spell correctly?”
And Mark said “do we have to hand this in?”
And John said “the other disciples didn’t have to learn this.”
And Matthew said “may I go to the toilet?”

Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus’ lesson plan
and inquired of Jesus:
“Where are your learning and assessment objectives?
What range of teaching strategies did you draw from?
Did you provide a differentiated provision?
Can I see a cross section of pupils work?

And Jesus wept.

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