Shhh, I got me this sweet deal goin’ on

shhh

Don’t tell anyone. I got a got a sweet deal with my bosses and I want to share it with just you.
Keep it to yourself.
These are in no particlular order. What have I left out?

  • See where I work nobody checks up on me.
  • I get paid over 60 grand a year and my job description hasn’t changed since I first began fifteen years ago.
  • Truth be told it probably hasn’t changed much in over one hundred years.
  • The material I teach hasn’t changed much in three hundred years. One of the sections I teach is called Modern Physics. This section is almost exactly one hundred years old.
  • My holidays cover over one third of the year. Fully paid.
  • I got job security for life. Nobody can touch me.
  • Over 90% of what I teach seems to serve no purpose whatsover, which is just as well because nobody remembers it after they leave school anyway. Has Hooke’s Law saved your life lately?
  • In theory I teach some of the most interesting subject matter that exists anywhere in this universe; in practice the writers of the Junior Science and Leaving Cert Physics syllabi couldn’t have done a more botched job if they deliberately set out to remove everything but the dry-as-dust ‘facts’ that we are left with.
  • I can take up to thirty days sick leave per year without needing to provide  a cert.
  • Promotion in my job is based on how long in the tooth I am; therefore those longest in the tooth are the highest paid.
  • I can close my door when I step into my classroom for the very first time and hardly anybody ever gets to look over my shoulder between then and the day I retire.
  • Once or twice over the course of my career an outside ‘inspector’ may get to call in to see how I’m getting on, but not unless I get a couple of weeks notice so I can prepare for his visit so that I give him the impression that those few highly prepared and highly artificial classes are the norm.
  • In a world which now cannot function without technology I too have moved with the times; where I once used chalk and a blackboard I now use (drumroll . . .) markers and a whiteboard.
  • In a world where I can be in touch with a colleague half a world away quicker than I can make contact with a colleague across the hall, there is no onus on me to do either.
  • I teach in a pretty well-to-do school where almost all students are interested in going to college, and where discipline issues mostly revolve around top buttons not being done up properly. I get paid the same as colleagues in schools where very few wish to learn and where discipline issues involve physical and verbal intimidation on a daily basis.
  • I got a sweet pension which is fully secure. I don’t really know anything else about it because, well, I guess I don’t need to.

You gotta promise me you’ll keep this secret; I don’t want the word getting out.

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2 comments

  1. Well at least you are honest about it!

    I hear it has become more difficult to get into the profession these days though – a masters as standard. Care to comment?

  2. Yes, I think a masters does help, though what the correlation is between having one and being a good teacher is I’m not sure. I think an even more positive move is the emphasis now given to applicants who have teaching experience of some description behind them.
    Hopefully the days of going from receiving your undergraduate degree to straight into the hdip, and from there straight to a teaching job, are on the way out.
    I also think it might be useful for teachers to have to spend time in a number of different schools before they are allowed to become permanent. Anything to give them a wide range of experience which will help them and more importantly their students.

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