These are doing the rounds on the email circuit (thanks Ciaran).
Wonderful, yet terribly sad in that we associate these silly answers with young ‘uns, probably because older students have had this lateral thinking ‘educated’ out of them.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE: I is . . .
TEACHER: No, Millie . . .. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right . . . ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe?
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: It’s the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Which reminds me of the Ken Robinson talk.
A teacher is watching a six-year old draw and asks what she is drawing. “God”, the kid says.
“But nobody knows what God looks like”.
Kid replies: “they will in a minute”.
Robinson has just published a book on the topic of education and creativity entitled The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything.
He was interviewed in yesterday’s Guardian:
We put too high a premium on knowing the “single right answer”, Robinson claims. But he says he is not in principle opposed to standardised tests, such as Sats. Used in the right way, they can provide essential data to support and improve education. The problem comes when these tests become more than simply a tool of education and turn into the focus of it, he argues.
LOL. Missed this on the email, but you have brightened my day! Love the humour.
It’s not a bad ‘aul job at the end of the day, but I’d say those Primary School teachers really get to hear some classic lines 🙂