This is a copy of my conversation this afternoon. Think I’ll be looking for the ‘loyalty team’ from now on.

Update
That was on the Wednesday.
On Friday I went to collect said iPhone.
The conversation went something like this:

Saleswoman: Sorry, but we have no record here of any of that. We can only offer you the €35 contract and it will still cost you €160
Me: But I just had the conversation two days ago and they assured me that they would update my contract details accordingly.
Saleswoman: I’m sorry, they mustn’t have updated your account yet – perhaps if you call back in a few days.
Me: Do you have the doubleyadoubleyadoubleya system on your computer?
Saleswoman: Excuse me?
Me: Would you mind opening up thinkforyourself.ie and just browsing through the last post there?
Saleswoman: Pause
Saleswoman: Just bear with me one minute please while I make a phonecall

Act Two

Saleswoman: It seems we were able to confirm your updated contracted. And we can now offer you the phone for €69 instead of €119, on an 18 month contract instead of the 24 month contract, and still keep your €20 a month price plan.
Me: Seriously?
Saleswoman: Seriously.
Pause.
Saleswoman: Just enter your pin there. Would you like to take out insurance with that?
Me: Most definitely not