Think for Yourself » Particle Physics

Large Hadron Collider discovers new element

ozymandias1 — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 21:41:06 +0000

Researchers at CERN have this morning announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

Neutrinos they are very small

ozymandias1 — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:31:21 +0000

I posted about neutrinos recently, but didn’t do them justice (John Updike’s poem excepted).

So I’m taking a second stab at it. I usually include (what I consider to be) interesting tit-bits at the end of the relevant chapter in the Student Notes, but at five pages this would be too much.

so I’m going with a podcast. It’s about twenty minutes long, and the script will be available to any who wish to read it in the Particle Physics page of my website.

I don’t know if one dedicates podcasts to people, but since this is my podcast I make the rules. I got a lovely email recently from Niamh, who is a leaving cert student and is planning to study Physics in university next year. Apart from saying nice things about the website, she went on to write about her enthusiasm for Particle Physics:

. . . Its just so interesting! we started pair annhilation in class the other day n i was whisperin “isnt this just so cool?” at the back of the class after every paragraph.

See that’s what we as teachers should be saying, except instead of whispering it, or speaking in our usual monotone voice, we should be shouting it from the rafters:

THAT”S MAD THAT IS !!!!

By the way, the picture (familiar to all neutrino afficienados) is of a bunch of physicists checking out one of the 11,200 photomultiplier tubes that line the Super Kamiokande neutrino detector in Japan, which also features in the podcast.

Hope you like it!

Also available for download from itunes.

more about “Vodpod Firefox Extension for WordPress“, posted with vodpod

What CERN doesn’t want you to know . . .

ozymandias1 — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 07:10:48 +0000

Click on the picture to see what they’re all so worried about.

In case you were wondering:
http://www.hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

Murray Gell-Mann – why I took Physics

ozymandias1 — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:42:35 +0000

Murray Gell-Mann, the Nobel prize-winning scientist who ‘discovered’ quarks and took the word from Joyce’s Finnegans Wake, thought that Physics at high school was “the dullest course I had ever taken”, and he only applied to study physics at university “to please my father”.
Taken from; When we were kids: how a child becomes a scientist.

I wonder how his physics teacher felt when he read that?

Here Gell-Mann talks about Truth and Beauty in Physics

My tip for the Leaving Cert Physics paper

ozymandias1 — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:50:40 +0000

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in CERN will be the world’s largest particle accelerator when its construction is completed sometime this Summer. It’s a pretty big deal if you are a particle physicist, and even if not you are still likely to be bombarded with the news when it is finally switched on.

‘Tips’ aren’t really a good idea for the Leaving Cert Physics paper, but if I had to guess I would suggest that something in this area is going to make an appearance on the Particle Physics question this year.

To find out why this is such a big deal you could do worse than watch Brian Cox talking at TED this year.
The Higgs particle isn’t on the syllabus but it should be. It’s probably the Holy Grail of Particle Physics. It aims to explain why particles have mass, which isn’t as silly as it sounds (apparently).

‘Course I could be completely wrong.